Little sister

May 31, 2011


Little sister 28th May 2011

Here she finally is! Our daughter was born on 28th May at 12.18 AM at 39w3days. 3314g and 48 cm.

Labor was fast and efficient this time! Painful contractions started around 4AM and I was already 7 cm dilated when we arrived at the hospital little before 8 AM. First couple of hours I felt there was no need for any pain reduction, since moving in the rocking chair and using my voice seemed to take the sharpest edge away from the contractions.

Around 11AM I started to feel more pain, and the midwife suggested entonox. Since it worked ok in my first labor, I decided to give it a try. This time it wasn’t doing so much and the contractions started to get worse and worse. Midwife did a pelvic exam and it turned out I hadn’t dilated more at all during these hours. Of course I thought that it’s going to be a 24hour hell all over again, so I asked for an epidural. Anesthetist doctor was called but she was busy with another patient and I was told she’d be with us 20 minutes later. Those 20 minutes were some of the most painful I have ever experienced, and the second the doctor came to the room I felt a massive urge to push. Pelvic showed I had dilated the last 3 cm during those 20 minutes so no epidural for me!

The pushing only took 8 minutes and I got to say it was quite primal, the urge to push was really intense and so was the pain too. Umbilical cord was twice around baby’s neck but the second she was out she started to scream. They lifted her on my lap and she felt so tiny! I started immediately breastfeeding and we stayed on the bed at least for an hour before another nurse came to do the measurings and I got to shower.

We only spent one night at the hospital and now are adjusting to life at home with two children. S is a littled muddled about this tiny creature who makes a large noise, but so far hasn’t had any tantrums about her. Breastfeeding didn’t start too well, the first night at home I tried it for 5 hours with a screaming baby and it seemed nothing came out so I had to make DH go to the gas station to buy some formula. Luckily yesterday the milk rose and now it’s over abundant!

We had a weighing at the hospital today and nurse said we can go outside today for the first time! Exciting πŸ™‚


Pregnancy test

May 19, 2011

This is actually a list of questions presented to a preggo woman in one particular Finnish baby magazine (that actually makes me furious after reading because of its “natural super mothers” attitude) in each episode. Here it goes!

I have been eating everything, salty and sweet

In early pregnancy all I devoured was salty and greasy stuff but lately it has been chocolate, ice-cream and cakes that make me extremely happy. And since the glucose test turned normal and the late u/s predicted a small baby (about 2,5kg at 35 weeks) I’ve had no quilty feelings for stuffing myself with that stuff.

Even the smell of coffee makes me want to vomit

First trimester I didn’t fancy coffee at all (normally I have 2-3 cups a day). Afterwards I’ve had about a (large) cup a day.

I could sleep all day

So true. Early pregnancy fatigue was terrible. Luckily S still napped a lot that time. Now he only takes one nap (about 2 hours) during which I try to have my lunch, watch quality TV like True Blood or Desperat Housewifes, enjoy my chocolates/ice-cream/cakes/all of them with coffee and if there’s still time left have a nap too. The last weeks I’ve been noticeably more tired again and during this pregnancy there really was no “energetic middle-pregnancy” at all!

Cramps on calves, heartburn, swelling, I’ve had all of them

Cramps during night, check. Heartburn, definetely and OMG it’s the worst thing ever. Swelling has luckily been absent this time.

I’ve felt like a sex bomb

Not really. Ok I love my rack at this size (normally a B cup, now E) but otherwise I miss my normal figure. And it doesn’t help that DH misses too.

I’ve gained tens of kilos of weight

This time around the weight gain has been quite moderate. I was 60 kg at BFP, then losed two kilos and now I’m about 68,5kg.

I’ve been really emotional

Oh yes. Can’t watch anything with babies/wedding/funeral from tv. Even the Bold and the Beautiful can make me cry. So fucking ridiculous.

A good mother will nurse long. (See what I told you about the magazines’s attitude!!!)

No. A good mother will nurse as long as it is possible in her situation. If nursing feels totally unpleasant and stressful for her she won’t sacrifice her own mental health just to be a good “natural mother”. Finland is a country of breast-feeding nazism and you will definetely be frowned upon if you stop breastfeeding just because you don’t want to do it or if you want to share the feeding responsibility with the baby’s father. Everyone has to “justify” their bottle-feeding with saying that the milk just stopped coming to get other mother’s approval. That’s just plain crazy.

Yes breastfeeding can be an amazing experience but it can also be quite the opposite as well and I totally understand mothers who don’t want to do it as I do understand those as well who enjoy it. What I can’t fathom is mothers who see themselves superior to others for breastfeeding as long as possible. I’ve heard about mothers who only ate rice-cakes and turkey cutlets while breastfeeding because all other food would affect the breastmilk and make the baby’s stomach upset. Seriously.In my pov breastfeeding no matter how difficult and stressful it feels is just plain stupid. I full nursed S 1 month and 4 months partly and bottle-feeding suited us really well.

I have planned the birth before hand

I know you really can’t plan the delivery but I have some wishes for the situation. I wish I’ll have a nice, understanding midwife who will suggest different positions and pain management for me and encourage me to move around. I’m willing to take an epidural if I’m in a lot of pain or if the labor won’t proceed well (last time epidural did the trick and I dilated from 4cm to 10cm in an hour). I want DH to be able to cut the umbilical cord and wash the baby for the first time. I wish they won’t have to cut an episiotomy as first time I was saved from that too. All in all, I wish I can trust my body and have a normal delivery with a healthy baby.

I’m 38w1day today and totally ready to have this baby!


Getting ready!

April 29, 2011

I’m 90% sure this baby will come early. I’m 35w2days today and been having AF-kind of cramping for a while + a ton of braxton-hicks. On Monday I have an extra u/s because of the placenta issues at S’s birth (normally the last u/s here is around 20weeks…) and on Tuesday the doctor will check my cervix if there’s any process to be seen.

We have the baby’s bed and nursing table ready and I already started to pack the hospital bag πŸ™‚ Exciting and scary!

S is going to my parents for this weekend since this might be the last time in a long while that we’ll get to spend some quality time together. We’re going to see Scream4 and eat in a restaurant serving pacific cuisine πŸ™‚ Tomorrow we’ll have the May day brunch with some friends and then cook Russian blinis and other good stuff in the evening. Can’t wait!

Now I must turn on the telly and start to watch William and Kate exchanging vows πŸ™‚


Can’t wait…

April 20, 2011

..for this baby to come already! I’m 34 weeks today and this pregnancy is truly starting to take it’s toll.

I can only walk the 200 meters to the nearest grocery store and back before having contractions and feeling like giving birth any minute. Everything gives me heartburn, all the time. I also feel like there’s no air left in my lungs since I’m carrying my belly quite high. Add to that the constantly stuffed nose, I’m practically not breathing any more. I’m crying over so stupid stuff it’s beyond ridiculous. My relationship with DH has seen much better times. I’m cramping and feeling really uncomfortable almost all the time. My calves are cramping every night and I have to pee every two seconds. Plus I’m shit scared about how this all is going to work out with a newborn added to a toddler with a temper.

Actually, I’m pretty sure I will be in labor before the EDD 1st June, since I’m having so many braxton-hicks and cramps every day. My doctor’s appointment is next week and she’ll check the cervix then. I had a birth planning session with a midwife this week where we discussed the possible pain relievement methods I want to use during labor. Since entonox worked so well last time I’ll surely try it again. And if the pain gets too intense/labor lasts forever I’m willing to have an epidural. Last time it helped me to dilate from 4cm to 10cm in an hour, after suffering hours and hours in the 4cm limbo before having it.

We changed our car to a bigger one and got S a new (used) bed so his old bed will go to the baby. Finding a double stroller is apparently a challenge of its own, since we want’ to get a model where the other kid sits behind the other (we use public transport a lot so the stroller needs to fit into elevators etc.) and there are not many such models available here. Yesterday we went to check out the Phil & Teds strollers but I’m not really convinced that the child sitting in front is totally safe… Plus you can’t adjust the sitting position at all and there’s no padded cover for winter times (a must with our -20C winters).

Ahh, the heartburn is here again…


Room of his own

February 20, 2011

S moved to his own room about a month ago.Β  Or actually me and DH moved our bed to other room (that used to be my office) and S stayed in our old bedroom, now having all that space just for him. Having separate bedrooms is heaven. I sleep a zillion times better and so does S, as he won’t wake up at the time we go to bed. And now we can even talk or cuddle when going to sleep without waking him up! Amazing!

While we were all sleeping in the same room I slept really light and woke up every time there was even a slight noise from his bed. Now I can sleep several hours in a row without waking up. I’m so going to enjoy thisΒ  luxury until it lasts! S is sleeping much better now too, he some times wakes up around 10-11PM needing the pacifier but he now sleeps even until 8.30AM. I can’t describe what a difference it is to wake up so late compared to the 6AM that was his routine all the months before.

I know a lot of people whose babies/toddler sleep in the same bed with them. I tried that for the first weeks and soon realized that it’s not for us. My neck got totally jammed and I couldn’t find a comfortable position with the baby next to me and slept really badly. So we quickly moved S to his own bed. Of course when I was still breastfeeding there were times that I fell asleep next to him during the night but as soon as I woke up I put him back to his own bed. I’m pretty sure that the newcomer will sleep in her own bed from the beginning too.

This second round I’m much more confident about my abilities how to handle this baby the best possible way. Now I know that I don’t need to follow the same routines my friends do with their children or what is stated as the best way on discussion boards. I also acknowledge that what has worked with S might well not work with the newcomer. I can only wait and see what will work for us the best way this time and take not too much pressure from the outside world. I know already that I’m not the kind of mom who’s into trying out all possible baby-hobbies, obsessing about solemnly breastfeeding the suggested 6 months or never leaving their children for someone else’s care.

I can say it out loud without any shame that I do need also time for my own to keep sane and time alone with DH to keep our relationship working.When we need a babysitter my parents are usually the ones taking care of him; in total they have spent 4 nights during this first year watching after S when me and DH have had some quality time together. We are also lucky and have friends living next door, they have helped a lot watching S a couple of times for a few hours. As our families live in different cities we are a family that travels a lot; during the first year of his life S has spent a night with us at least in 8 different places and he has met a lot of new people.

S is now walking and running like he would have done it his whole life. He loves the vacuum cleaner and all things that make big noises. He’s best friends with one of our cats and goes hugging him several times a day. He has the most wonderful smile and laughter in the world. He makes my heart melt every day.

I ordered this for the newcomer. Cute overload!


Comparing these two rounds

February 3, 2011
First round Second round
How long did it take We started ttc in July 2007, treatments in August 2008, got first bfp 2nd May 2009 so it took us 1 year and 10 months. I threw away bcp in June 2010 because my body didn’t co-operate with them anymore, got bfp 20th September 2011 so 3 rounds.
How did we get there? Medically assisted FET after IVF (gonal-F, prednisone, progesterone supplies) Using OPKs, eating vitamins and having sex πŸ™‚
First positive hpt/hcg? 10dpt faint positive hpt, 12dpt hcg 24, 19dpt hcg 418 12dpo positive hpt, no clue of the hcg values
First early pregnancy symptoms? Pissed off really badly, AF cramps, back pain, pms-feeling, huge zit on my face Implantation spotting at 5-6dpo, tired, stuffed nose, high bbt, dizzy feeling when rising up
Symptoms in the beginning Brownish spotting a few days, fatigue, hangoverish feeling Spotting a few days, terrible fatigue, hangoverish feeling, much worse nausea than first round
Symptoms around the halfway Feeling good and energetic, some cramps in calves during the night, terrible heartburn attacks Tired, hungry, braxton-hicks from 17 weeks on if I work too hard, horrible back pain from 12 weeks after walking or when trying to get up frome the sofa
Face Bad case of hormonal acne during the first trimester Nothing too bad (yet)
Breasts Grew from B-cup to D-cup About D-cup now, grew really fast
Linea negra Yep Not visible (at least yet)
Stretch marks On my ass but not on belly No visible yet
Cravings Everything fresh; fruit, juice, salad Everything greasy and salty; hamburgers, french fries, potato crisps, sodas, ice-cream
Movement Around 16-17 weeks Around 17 weeks
Starting weight 56kg (123.2 lbs) 60kg (132 lbs)
Weight gain so far (about 22weeks) +5.5kg (12.1 lbs) +2.8kg (6.2 lbs)
Ending weight, total weight gain 71,5kg (157.3 lbs), +15.5kg (34.1 lbs) No clue yet!
Sf-measurement around 22 weeks 22 cm 22 cm

1st pregnancy 21w4d

2nd pregnancy 21w3d

Gender Had no clue beforehand πŸ™‚ it was a boy! No we know what to expect πŸ™‚

One year already

January 3, 2011

One year ago

First Christmas

One year ago S was only a couple of hours old and so tiny, 3,1kg only. Now he weighs about 11kg and has his own will and personality. Time has really gone fast and I guess before I know he’s going to school and moving out on his own!