Archive for the ‘unemployment’ Category


ER getting closer…

February 13, 2009

Final u/s was this morning, there are now 17 follies measuring 16-17mm. Retrieval is scheduled on Monday at 9AM and I’ll do the Pregnyl shot at 8PM on Saturday. I’m sure I will mess it somehow with the two little ampules and two needles and the strict time limit.. Fuuuuuuuck! First when I saw the mixing needle I thought it was the one I would have to stab myself with… DH was presrcribed a heavy dose of antibiotics for Sunday morning. Transfer (please please let us make it that far!) will be on Thursday.

And of course I’m totally scared about the retrieval. RE keeps saying there’s no need and it won’t hurt a bit but I’ve read so many horror stories (thanks again, dr. Google!) so I know it can be living hell. At the moment I have a heavy feeling on my ovaries, not too bad so I can still move quite normally. My nipples became really sore yesterday and I’m producing ridiculous amounts of ewcm (I’m sure you all were dying to know this).

I had a meeting with a possible freelancer employer yesterday at a company where one of my ex-colleagues transfered to. I really hope they will have work for me in the future, the place was nice and everyone seemed relaxed and easy to get along with. Plus the work would be interesting and I would already know how to do it.

After the meeting I had to visit the unemployement office, which is really just a time-consuming act of pointless bureocracy. I spent one hour waiting to see the the officer (even visited post office while in queu) for five minutes, she just wrote a few sentences on the database and now I “officially have a plan for employment”. GREAT. What that actually means is that I will be allowed to get a bigger unemployement benefit. Which I will have to wait for at least one month for since I can’t even apply for it yet because I haven’t been unemployed for two weeks. Gotta love this red-tapism.

Our work project with DH went well, no fights on the professional points of view πŸ™‚ Our employers loved my animations and we will continue the project on February 23rd.Β  Great to have something to take my mind of the (possible) 2ww.

This afternoon I’m meeting a friend who just moved to Helsinki, tomorrow cousin and her son will come to visit us and rest of the weekend will be spent relaxing and obsessing trying not to obsess about next week. Thank you all for your supportive comments, I promise to keep you updated πŸ™‚


Baseline completed!

February 3, 2009

We had the baseline u/s this morning. I was a bit anxious before it because I’ve been feeling some twinges on both ovaries so I thought I might not be supressed enough. Luckily that wasn’t the case, lining was thin and the follies (4 on right side, 5-6 on left side) small as they should be. First step completed! Yay! We are proceeding on schedule πŸ™‚

After we saw RE we met with the nurse and she taught us how to stick the Gonal-F. I was scared as hell to stab myself with the needle because I’ve never done it before and asked if it’s possible to hit your organs..LOL. It actually didn’t hurt at all! The dosage was 225 today and it’ll be 150 every day until next Monday when we have our next appointment and u/s. I will be decreasing the nasal spray to only one sniff every 12 hours instead of the two sniffs I’ve had so far. I had a really bad headache last week from the spray but thank god it’s gone now.

I asked if there will be any blood tests (since I’ve read from my many if-blogger friends’ posts that they’re having those) but RE said no. Only if there’s something suspicious to be seen on the u/s they’ll draw blood.

I had my last day at the office yesterday. Hooray! Now I’m officially unemployed/freelancer. I bought a computer and the software from my workplace and actually already made my first freelancer project (cd covers) πŸ™‚ Next week me and DH are hired to do one 3 day project together, him editing the videos and me doing the graphics.. It’ll be interesting!

I’m so glad there’s all this new exciting stuff going on, so I can’t focus too much on the ivf and ponder how it’s going to be and will we ever succeed or not. I have a strong feeling that our main problem has been the fertilization because I’ve always gotten bad endo symptoms already on 2-3 dpo, so if we’ll get even one embie aboard we will be quite hopeful.


The joy of being unemployed

January 27, 2009

As I’ve written before, I’m not so keen on public transport. To get to my workplace it takes about 40 minutes with two different buses. This morning, in the sardine-packed commuter hell I suddenly realized: I don’t have to take this shit for much longer anymore, as my contract ends 5th February! And I started to think all the other good things about not going to work.

  • I can sleep as long as I want to. No more 6.30 wake-ups for me!
  • No more standing in the bus stop in pitch black morning freezing my ass off !
  • No zombieing around and surfing the net for 8hours because there’s nothing to do
  • I don’t have to deal with certain people EVER again or listen to their shit
  • Nobody is tracking how long my lunch break takes
  • I’ll finally have time for all my own creative projec

Doesn’t sound too bad πŸ™‚ The only things I will miss are my great co-workers; two guys who started at the same time with me and with whom I’ve had so much fun and of course the MONEY.

Something funny happened on Sunday. There was a documentary film festival going on last week. I wanted to book ticket to a screening on Sunday for a documentary about Finnish nuns. I messed with the dates and had to change my ticket to a film called “Everything is relative” that was screened on Sunday. Well, Sunday morning I went to collect my ticket (I had paid it on the net before hand) and didn’t look at it, just went to the theatre. When the movie was about to start a person came in front to announce the following title. It definetely was not “Everything is relative”.Β  It was called “Mysterion”. Well, maybe this is a short film before the actual title I thought. A few minutes passed and I realized that it was not a short movie. I was in the wrong fucking theatre. Actually in the wrong building too. But since the movie had already started and I thought what the hell, I’ll watch this instead even though I had no idea what the title would be about. And here comes the good part; it was a documentary about nuns! Only Estonian ones πŸ˜€ I guess the universe had meant for me to see something about nuns after all!

Yesterday we went to see “the Wrestler”. Mickey Rourke was amazing. Truly a movie worth watching.

On the ivf; it’s CD28, I’m having some cramps so I guess it’ll be AF soon. I also have a terrible headache but I guess it’s because we didn’t have any coffee at home this morning so I missed my daily fix. Next Tuesday is the first u/s and I’ll start the Gonal-fs. I talked with my parents on the phone and mom asked about our if-treatments. I told about the ivf-schedule and how everything is costing a zillion. Mom said that if we run out of money for the treatments, they will help us and we won’t have to pay back. I was so relieved to hear this, it was like a huge weight off my back. Because we only have the money for one round of ivf and there’s no guarantee it will work. I feel blessed that they are willing to participate.


You are fired!

January 23, 2009

Little did I know when I stated on my post yesterday that it was a matter of days that we would be sacked. That time, it was actually a matter of hours. We got the layoff papers yesterday afternoon.

Don’t feel sorry for me because I sure as hell don’t. Ok, financially this is a huge challenge, but otherwise it’s the kick on the butt I’ve been waiting for. I have no idea of my career in the future and at the moment I’m liking it. Scary? Yes. Exciting? You bet.

Through unemployement office it might be possible to get to try on new occupations as an apprentice while cashing in the unemployement benefits. I’d like to try working in a flower shop because it’s been my dream for so long. For a while I dreamt about being a confectioner but then I realised they have to start working like 3AM in the morning so that was that then.

My work history began at the age of 15 when I had a summer job in a photo shop. I ended up working in different photo shops during summers/holidays until 2005 when we moved to Helsinki. Actually it would be fun to try that again too, although the business doesn’t feel the same now that everything has gone digital. I used to love developing films. When we moved to Helsinki I worked 6 months in a video game store and then quit because I wanted to something that I’d been studying for. I started in my current position in April 2006, so I spent almost 3 years here. I’ve never been unemployed before. In a way it feels quite liberating πŸ™‚


Day 3

January 22, 2009

It’s CD 23 and the 3rd day of suppression (sniffing). No side effects so far; I was prepared at least for the hot flashes. The drug description also promised that the drug can cause “male hair growth”. Maybe I’ll wake up one morning with a mustasch or a beard. Awesome. Actually the same drug is used to treat severe endometriosis so I guess it can help the situation a little.

I visited the employement agency this morning, it’s a matter of days now when we’ll be laid off. I’m going to have so much trouble when applying for my allowance because of the company we have with my sister and because I’m still enrolled into an university. Fuuuuuuck. It’ll take at least one month for them to process my papers. One month without any money. GREAT. And I really can’t apply to any jobs beforeΒ  knowing how this will end. So frustrating.

Luckily it’s Thursday andΒ  I have the graphics class this evening; something to take my mind off from all of this. Tomorrow I’ll probably buy a large box of ice-cream and spend the evening on the sofa between four cats and watch some chick flick as DH will be away the whole weekend making a record with his band.


Que sera?

December 21, 2008

I feel like I’m in a exciting place like now; with our company obviously closing its doors I’m forced to find something else to do. And I kind of enjoy this kick in the ass; I’ve always loved surprise events that change your life (ok, not ALL of them). Needless to say, there’s one surprise in particular I would enjoy the most… I have no idea yet what will wait for me after the christmas holidays, we have been warned that we might get all laid off on 8th January but it’s not official yet. I haven’t applied for any new jobs yet but I managed to polish my cv and get my webpage up at last.

I started the web graphics project I was offered, it will continue in January. Had to drive 130 km though to the place and back on my own (this is a big deal for me) and since our car radio is broken I had nothing else for my entertainment than my own singing, and I can’t even stay in tune so that kind of sucked.

We had the company “christmas party” (funeral) with some of my workmates, it was basically me and 4 guys getting obnoxiously drunk and talking shit. A lot of fun πŸ™‚ !

Christmas is in few days and we have no snow 😦 I really do miss the winters of my childhood, nowadays it’s the same gray, rainy weather from October to March.

It’s 6DPO, nothing to see here. Same symptoms as always (back pain, cramps, ovarian twinges) so no expectations either. Btw I asked RE if progesterone can help with endo and she said no, so maybe my lack of pain last cycle was just good luck…