Archive for the ‘music’ Category


Good things

August 14, 2009

We went to see Truckfighters yesterday. It’s an amzing Swedish stoner-band with probably the most energetic live performances I’ve ever witnessed, if I hadn’t been pregnant I would have taken part in the moshpit myself. Gotta love them, it was the third time I saw them play. This summer has been some what active gig-wise, before Truckfighters  I’ve seen Faith no More and Metallica and one Finnish band that was my ultimate favourite in late 1990s/early 2000. They have quit some years ago and only did a few comeback shows this summer. Seeing them play made me almost feel like 17 again; when they got on stage I felt this huge wave of nostalgia splashing over me. And there is one certainly great gig ahead this month when other Finnish band (PMMP) is performing in Helsinki. Can’t wait! I don’t know if the baby can hear anything yet from the outside world but if she/he can, she’s certainly been exposed to some good music during this summer!

Something totally awesome: I was accepted to the Master’s Programme I applied to! And something even better: I got a new job! It’s a very simple one I’m over educated and qualified for with a ridiculously low wage and not even in my field of expertise but I’m still excited to get out of the house after six months of unemployment/sporadic freelancer assignments.  It only lasts until the middle of November but it’s perfect as I would quit working in the beginning of December anyway. I was very anxious whether they would hire me as I told them in the interview I was preggo but luckily it wasn’t a problem for them. I’ll start working already next week! Things seem very positive at the moment 🙂

We are looking for a bigger apartment to rent as this one is only 55 square meters with two rooms and a kitchen and already with us and 3 cats (one is staying at DH’s father) it’s very crowded. There might be one 3 room apartment in the same building and we are really hoping to get it with a decent rent. The problem is that the rents are sky high in Helsinki area and we really couldn’t afford paying 1000 euros a month.

Today we are going finally to tell DH’s father and mother (they are divorced) about the baby. DH has wants to tell them both personally and at the same day (if other one gets to hear earlier it will cause problems, believe me…) and this is the first time we actually have them both in the same town at the same time. Well there’s not so much to tell anymore, you can see it quite clearly on my belly…

I had the monthly visit with the nurse today, my regular one was on holidays but actually I liked this one much better, see seemed actually like a professional and not a goofy old lady my regular one is. Since last night I’ve had some nasty pain on the left side of my stomach but according to the nurse it’s just my uterus growing and/or my endo adhesions stretching. Blood pressure, weight, hemoglobin and the pee tests were all ok and hearing the baby’s heartbeat is always very touching and gives me a more trusting feeling towards this pregnancy. I felt some strong movements on Tuesday evening but after that only a few mild ones, she/he is probably in a different position now.

Have a great weekend everyone :)!



December 5, 2008

I had a bad day again yesterday and because I’m a melancholic Finn I had to listen to this song the second I got home from the art graphics class. I knew it would send me crying in an instant but that was probably just what I needed at the point, holding my tears the whole fucking day at work. At times I feel I’m carrying the weight of whole world on my shoulders and nothing seems to go as I wish. I’m a mess and I wish I wouldn’t feel this way.

Nick Cave: Sweetheart come

Come over here, babe
It ain’t that bad
I don’t claim to understand
The troubles that you’ve had
But the dogs you say they fed you to
Lay their muzzles in your lap
And the lions that they led you to
Lie down and take a nap
The ones you fear are wind and air
And I love you without measure
It seems we can be happy now
Be it better late than never

Sweetheart, come
Sweetheart, come
Sweetheart, come
Sweetheart, come to me

The burdens that you carry now
Are not of your creation
So let’s not weep for their evil deeds
But for their lack of imagination
Today’s the time for courage, babe
Tomorrow can be for forgiving
And if he touches you again
with his stupid hands
His life won’t be worth living

Sweetheart, come
Sweetheart, come
Sweetheart, come
Sweetheart, come to me

Walk with me now under the stars
For it’s a clear and easy pleasure
And be happy in my company
For I love you without measure
Walk with me now under the stars
It’s a safe and easy pleasure
It seems we can be happy now
It’s late but it ain’t never
It’s late but it ain’t never
It’s late but it ain’t never

I fell in love with Mr. Cave at the age of 14 when I heard his duet “Henry Lee” with PJ Harvey (also my favourite). Ever since he’s been the artist number one for me. Nothing like dwelling in that melancholy and sorrow. I saw him first time play live in Amsterdam in 2005 and again in Helsinki in 2007.

I’m really sick of my job at the moment, or the lack of work so to speak. And I feel trapped because this is the lousiest possible time to apply for a new job since all companies are sacking people in masses at the point and we have the IVF coming up in January.  If the IVF will fail I will resign immediately, this is a promise to myself. I know I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in front of a computer, I want to do something productive with my hands. If only I’d found a way to earn money too that way.

We are celebrating the independence day in Finland tomorrow. A friend couple is coming for dinner and later we’ll probably join our neighbour’s party, he already had a life-size figure of our president 🙂 And I’m going to get wasted this weekend. I even considered doing it on Wednesday evening (and skipping work the next day) when we were attending the music quiz at a pub (really fun btw!) but then the good girl in me decided not to drink more and we went home early.

About ttc, some really really mild ovarian twinges but I’ve got the feeling O is going to show up really late this cycle, if at all, due to all this stress I’ve had last few weeks. I really don’t think the IUI is going to work this time either but what the hell, let’s just throw another 260 euros in the toilet.

In the midst of my melancholy and after so much bad luck going around my blogging friends, I’m really really happy that miracles still happen! Gongrats IrishNYC!



October 17, 2008

Yesterday’s gig was GREAT! I think I’ve said these words before but it was one of the best shows I’ve witnessed in my whole life. The singer totally knew how to make a good show; making the audience scream and sing and sharing his Jack Daniels bottle with the listeners 🙂 And look at those sideburns! Thigh brushes they’d be called in Finnish :D! (it’s an old photo I found on the net) Me and guys had a blast! Today though everyone is hung over and we have an important customer meeting in an hour…

Concerning ttc; it’s CD21 7DPO/IUI. Back pain is fortunately absent today and yesterday too, but I have some familiar cramps and quite a lot ovarian pain on both sides. And my f#%king most annyoing endo symptom is back in it’s full glory; the symptoms of an urinal infection (without having an infection). It feels like pissing needles.

I was supposed to go out tonight with my cousin but her son fell ill so we’ll be having the ordinary Friday feast with DH instead. And tomorrow I’ll go rehearse my drumming after a long pause! On Sunday I’ll go with a highschool friend to sell some old stuff on a flea market, hopefully people want to buy all my junk fabulous stuff 🙂



October 10, 2008

IUI #2 done, and seeds planted inside of me. Doc was nice and professional and said that the timing was perfect (as last time too). I seemed to ovulate again from the right ovary. There was a problem though. Apparantely DH missed a few drops of his swimmers and now the total sperm count was only 0.9 million after the wash up treatment when last time it was 7 million. 0.9 million sounds like a big number but in the fascinating world of IUI it isn’t. It’s a small pathetic number and with our luck all those swimmers will just go round in circles and bump to each other and never find Mrs Egg. Oh well, a setback in our  ttc history, what else is new?

I asked about the progesterone prescription and the doctor said I don’t need it as my natural level at CD20 was 30. For some reason I get the impression that the docs at my clinic are quite reluctant to put me on any hormones since everything seems to be working fine. I’m not sure how to feel about this. Maybe it’s a good thing not to have any extra drugs just in case, but maybe they would make me feel more confident about everything working as it’s supposed to.

Now the 12 day wait, but I’m not getting my hopes too high with these numbers.

Something brighter though; it’s Friday and I skipped worked today! After the visit to the car dealer we’ll have our traditional Friday night feast of gluttony, wine and movies and tomorrow we’ll travel to Turku and I’ll wine, dine and have fun with my dear sister :). And next Thursday I’ll go with my workmates to see these guys play live:



August 20, 2008

I feel like a train had ran over me and there’s a bruise on my left shoulder. Half of the muscles in my body are hurting. Yep, the first kickboxing workout was yesterday. And it was so much fun :D!! I sweated like a little red pig but like a very happy pig! We’re going again on Sunday.

Had another appointment to the acupuncturist too. This time he put a needle on my head and one on my lower back (and also the needles on my belly as last time). It’s strange how the needles hurt diffrently in different parts. For example the needle on my head didn’t hurt at all where as the on on my lower back hurt so much I had to bite my lip. The next session is on Friday and yet another on next Monday. I’m going to go bankrupt over this.

It’s CD13 and I suspect I’ll be ovulating on CD15 or 16. It’s a good thing that the RE is tomorrow so she can check with the dildocam if I’m really ovulating or not! They can do that, can’t they?

Tonight we’re going to see these girls play! The song is about domestic violence and roughly translated “if you’ll hit me one more time I’ll kill you”.  One of the best current Finnish live bands I’ve seen.


I rule!

August 10, 2008

I learned to play the stoner beat with the drums finally! I RULE!!! Now I only have to learn to play it 10 times faster 😀

Wolmother breaks up. Sad news. I love their music, hopefully they will get new members and continue.