Archive for the ‘fertility clinic’ Category

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Uncertain times

October 8, 2008

I’m on CD12 and no positive OPK so far. This morning’s line was though a bit more darker than yesterday’s and I think I’ll test again this evening. Last cycle I got the first positive on the evening of CD12 but somehow this cycle feels different. I’ve had some twinges on both sides, mainly on the left side, but much less than a month ago. I hope this doesn’t mean that the big O is coming late because the weekend is approaching again and I CAN’T ovulate on Sunday. It sucks so much that the clinics are closed on weekends because now I have to worry every cycle whether  I’ll O on a correct day or not. So keep your fingers crossed for a positive OPK tomorrow morning, so we could do the IUI#2 on Friday!

I’m going to see my sister next weekend. She doesn’t know yet that we are doing IUI, and I’d like to share this with her. It just isn’t something you blurt on the phone, at least for a phone-handicapped person like me. I seriously don’t like to call people, me and DH are both sms-people and if I could I’d do all the appointment reservation etc. on the net.

On the news it seems that the only important thing at the moment is the global financial crisis. I remember the recession of the early 90’s much too well; a lot of people got sacked and all costs were cut to the minimum at schools, hospitals, everywhere. My parents run a small company and we really didn’t have any money those years. I seriously hope that this won’t lead to similar times.

Me and DH planned to buy our own apartment/house last year. After checking several options we had spotted one beautiful house (much like the one where I grew up) in a small town an hour by train from Helsinki, near where my parents live. We were ready to place an offer when the sellers had to withdraw the house from the sales because they didn’t get the house they were planning to move into.  We were really disappointed about this and lost our interest in looking for any house. Now I think we were not meant to have the house, we were not meant to move there, we were not meant to be homeowners at this point.

We couldn’t actually afford buying a house at the moment.  We couldn’t even afford buying an appartment. If we bought one our economy would be extremely thight.  The prices for houses/apartments in Helsinki are ridiculous; with the price of an 2 room apartment in a ghettoish part of town you’d get a big house with a large yard in northern Finland. We won’t ever afford to buy a house in Helsinki; they cost 300 000€ minimum. And with the current interest rates I’m happy we are still living in the same rental apartment as 3 years ago. It’s a nice apartment, 2 rooms, 55 square meters, balcony and view to the forest, only 10 minutes to the center with the subway. A bit small, yes, but cosy and looks like us definetely plus we have the best neighbor ever 🙂

After pondering togehter whether to invest in a house/apartment we came to the conclusion that we won’t. At least for now. Buying a house seemed the like the next step in the ordinary continuum we were trying so eagerly to follow. And then we realized that it isn’t really our dream and we can break the pattern if we want to. We are not the most ordinary couple in any sense so why would we try to act like one if it really isn’t our thing? We want to have some money for living and enjoying life too, not just paying for a damn house. We do want to get out of Helsinki at some point for sure, at least if we ever get a baby, but that doesn’t necessarely mean buying a house. I’m a small town girl and I want my children to have a small town childhood too if possible.

The other step in the continuum is of course having children. And that is one “traditional” step we want to follow despite our many other untraditional ways. I refuse to think that not being able to have a baby normally would mean that we were not meant to have one ever. Maybe we weren’t meant to have the baby already when we started ttc, maybe we needed to sort some things in our relationship first, maybe we needed to grow up a little, maybe it all has been just bad luck. And maybe all the waiting and disappointments will be rewarded. And still it’s a maybe. Maybe this cycle!

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IUI accomplished!

September 15, 2008

Didn’t get much sleep last night as I was worrying whether today would be too late or not. I called the clinic on the minute they opened and made an appointment for the IUI at 1.15PM. DH had left a bit earlier to the clinic to release his swimmers, only to be called back once he was in downtown since I learned on the phone with the nurse that it would be better to give his sample later.

A couple of hours later DH left to the clinic as I sat home anxiously. Apparantely he’d been quite anxious too so getting his sample took longer than usual. A little later I left to downtown too and we went to the clinic together. We waited for our appointment and told each other stupid jokes and laughed hysterically. We both have a really nasty sense of humor and that’s probably one of the reasons we are together.

Our doc went straight to the business, I got my pants off and a minute later the swimmers had been inserted. Painless and fast (I wish I could say cheap too…)! Looking at the u/s doc told that our timing “couldn’t have been better” and I was so relieved to hear that since I worried the whole weekend about this. She also told that DH’s swimmers responded very well to the treatment and that now 85% of them were fast swimmers.

So according to our doctor we have really good odds in succeeding! I know that this was only the first step; now we’d need those swimmers to fertilize my egg and that egg to implant and stay on board. Since my bloodwork was normal and the uterian lining looked thick enough doc said that she doesn’t want to put me on any hormones. We’ll just rely on mother nature on the rest of the cycle. I truly hope she’ll be on our side.

Now I just need something to distract me for the following 12 days (my usual luteal phase) so I won’t obsess with this! I’ve made a deal with myself not to do any bbt charting for the rest of the cycle and only POAS if AF is late for real.

But all in all,  I’m so excited :D!

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Approaching IUI

September 10, 2008

I visited my RE today and did the u/s. There’s a 15mm follicle on my right side and the lining was 7mm thick. A beautiful cycle in process, as my doctor described. She suspected that I’ll O probably on Monday or Tuesday. YAY! I’m just hoping so much that I won’t O already on Sunday, because that would totally suck at this point. Are there any tricks how to delay your ovulation? RE told me to start using the OPKs from Friday morning and if I would get a + already on Friday, we’d do the IUI already on that day.

They had some of my bloodwork results ready and it looked good. FSH on CD2 was 6.7 and LH was 5.8. Progesterone on CD20 was 30 which means that I really did O on the last cycle. We are still waiting for the CD7 results for prolactin and thyreotropin but the doc said they should be fine.

I had acupuncture appointment yesterday and DH had his first one too. I cancelled my reflexologist appointment for tomorrow because at the point I can’t afford them both. I hope the needlework will do the trick combined with the IUI!

I’m excited, shit scared and full of hope.

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Greetings from Tallinn!

September 8, 2008

Had a great weekend! On Friday after the sweaty kickboxing training I headed to town with DH and two of his band friends (they have a new kickass stoner band that’s going to rock the world and make us rich :D) to go see the annual FInnish championship of fireworks. We watched the first two sets, had some cider and beer and then bought a pizza that we shared at the street before heading to a pub nearby for the rest of the evening.

The bass player of the band is also my cousin’s boyfriend and the father of my goodson. He told me how much they are both hoping fo this IUI to work and for us to have a baby too (their son was born in April). I was really touched  by his words, because I could tell they were straight from his heart. Ok, we were all tipsy at the point but still, you don’t often hear Finnish men talk like that.

On Saturday morning we headed to the port and the ship to Tallinn left at 11.30 and 2,5 hours later we arrived there. First we got to the hotel to leave our bags and then went to get something to eat and drink before the dinner. The hotel was situated just 0,5km from the port and in the middle of the beautiful old town. The room was quite small and didn’t have a double bed which was definetely a minus.

Our hotel in the old town

Our hotel in the old town

The room

The room

I would love a house like this!

I would love to live in a house like this!

The local dentist. Ha-ha.

The local dentist. Ha-ha.

Tallinn’s old town is very picturesque; it dates back to 13th century as Tallinn was one of the Hansa-cities in the Middle Ages. Nowadays it’s filled with tourists, Finns being the biggest group. The main reason most Finns travel to Estonia is the low price of liquor compared to Finland. It’s ridiculous; first the Finnish booze is imported to Estonia and then the Finnish tourists come over the sea by boat and carry it back to Finland…  Unlike most foreigners think, Finnish is not a language related to other scandinavian languages. So a Finn doesn’t understand a word of Swedish if he hasn’t been taught it in school. Estonian, however comes from the same finno-ugric language family and for us their language sounds very funny but sometimes comprehensible. It’s like Finnish spelled wrong or pidgin.

For us the reason to come to Tallinn was this:

a very happy tourist

a very happy tourist

The russian restaurant called Troika. We dined there first time 1,5 years ago when visiting Tallinn together for the first time (got engaged during the same trip). It’s maybe the best restaurant I’ve ever been to. The food is great (that’s russian pancakes with roe, onion and sour cream on my plate), the atmosphere is very cosy and they have all kinds of performances from accordion music to go-go dancers. We had a three course dinner with a bottle of red wine and of course some vodka shots 😉 You could say it’s a tourist trap but a very fine one.

waiter pouring vodka

waiter pouring vodka

DH's dessert, flambéed fruits

DH's dessert. flambéed fruits

After all the eating we were so tired we just crawled back to the hotel and went to bed already around 10.30 PM. I guess I’ve grown  middle-aged when I love eating more than a hard party night! Next day before the ship sailed back we did some shopping. We got russian sparkling wine (you can’t get it from Finland), local candies and for me sexy French lingerie.

our shopping

our shopping

YES I know our baby will be made in a clinic with the doctor but it won’t hurt either to try the normal style too! The choice of underwear in estonian shops differed quite much from the Finnish shops; everything was more clourful, more ruffled, more extreme, and of course sexier. But so are the Estonian women too. Whereas their Finnish sisters prefer comfortability and practicality in their dressing even if that means looking boring; the Estonian girls have stiletto heels on whether it’s raining or snowing, have always perfect hairdos and lots of makeup and prefer to be wrapped in fur and gold.

On our way back we watched the real middle-aged turn wild at the ship’s disco when they started to play the Finnish golden oldies. Very entertaining!

This morning I had again an appointment with the dentist and also did the CD7 bloodwork at my workplace’s clinic. Had to wait almost an hour at the lab, I was so frustrated because they had like one person doing the tests and maybe 30 patients in the queu. Sometimes all the clinics, whether public or private, just seem too inefficient. U/S is on Wednesday, I’m hoping to O already on Friday or then next week because the clinic is closed on the weekend.

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First RE appointment

August 21, 2008

So we had the RE appointment today, finally. I was quite nervous the whole morning before going there, I don’t know why. Our doctor was a really nice lady. Straighforward in her speech, which suits us better than fine. And we are in fact much wiser after this first appointment already.

It turned out that even though DH’s SA said that his sperm is fine, there seem to be some problems with the high antibody levels. This means that although he has a lot of good quality swimmers who move forward they can’t really reach their target because of abnormal viscocity.

I had the dildocam examination which revealed that I O’d probably yesterday from my left ovary. I thought so too, because the temp was 0.5C higher this morning. The doc told me however to stop charting, NOW, because it only adds more stress. So I’ll go bury my thermometer on the backyard. My ovaries, uterus and the uterian lining all looked flawless. My docs words: “you will certainly get pregnant with this uterus” 😀 Yay! She also said that I’m very likely to ovulate normally since I have regular cycles and have gotten positive OPKs and my tubes are open. Of course we still have to do the bloodwork to confirm that my hormones are working properly. I hope not to get any surprises there…

She said that they don’t normally start to plan the treatments on the first visit, but since we already had the SA results and my endo history papers she was comfortable suggesting IUI on natural cycle already for next month. I know it’s not the most effective treatment in the world but if the problem has really been with the swimmers not getting to the right place, not my endo, then it might do it! The doc said that she doesn’t “normally” start the treatments with IUI but in our case she thinks it might reall y do the trick. Can’t describe how excited I am! Now I only have to find out how to do my CD21 bloodwork in the middle of LAPLAND.

Yesterday’s gig was awesome. Those girls definetely rock!!

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1st appointment to the fertility clinic…in a month

July 21, 2008

I made the call this morning, and now we have to wait just another MONTH to get to the clinic. 21st August, 10.30 AM.

I’m going to bring the pile of paper with doctors statements about my endometriosis and infertilitas primaria with me, plus I’m going to print out all my bbt charts with my notes about backache and cramps from hell that last the whole month, thank you endometriosis. One whole month of waiting just for an appointment with an interview. And this was the more expensive clinic. I wonder how long the lines are for treatments then. But anyway, now I at least feel we are going somewhere. Slowly, but onward anyway.