Archive for the ‘family’ Category


My philosophy as a mother

December 19, 2011

I think I have none.

I have fed my both babies with breast and bottle, tried out cloth nappies and decided I prefer disposable ones, carried my babies in Manduca and in a sling as well as pushed them in the stroller and let them sit in the bouncer and crawl on the cat hair filled floor. Our kids have rules but they do have kisses and hugs too. I’m not pro-any “mother-ism”, I only pro-getting through the day the most comfortable way for us.

If I get through the day with both kids unharmed, fed and diapers changed I think I’ve done a good job. If I get to take a nap with the kids that’s a huge bonus. If our son doesn’t throw more than three tantrums during the day, that’s a miracle. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children but in the evening I’m exhausted.

Here’s our usual schedule: (DD=Dear daughter, DS=Dear son)

1 AM I give DD her bottle

During the night 2-random amount of baby soothing and finding the missing pacifier

5-6 AM Feeding no. 2 after which little miss sunshine chatters in her crib next to me, obviously too loud for me to sleep.

7 AM DH wakes up and gives DS his morning porridge with blueberries, sometimes DD sleeps this time but if she doesn’t, he feeds her too.

8.30 AM DH wakes me up and leaves for work

8.30-9.15 AM I have my breakfast, clean up some (or not), dream of having a shower, we watch cartoons and play in DS’s room.

A rare happening

watching the morning children's programs

9.15 AM I try to put clothes on a kicking and screaming octopus, also known as our son. After yelling and fighting about the same thing over and over again I get him dressed, dress DD and try to put my own clothes as fast as possible while DD is screaming her lungs off because she hates waiting in her winter clothes.

9.30 I put both kids in the stroller and we head for grocery store nearby (approx 400m). Some times Sisu wants to walk on his own and the journey will take 30 minutes as he admires every car and squirrel on the way.

looking tired much?

9.40-10 AM At the grocery store, DS wants to have his own little shopping cart and tries to hit everyone in the store and puts groceries of his choice in the cart when I’m not watching. I try to get through the store with our mega-wide stroller without knocking things from the selves. One time I got stuck at the checkout counter because the way wasn’t wide enough. At the checkout DS tries to throw the groceries on the counter with variable success. After that he tries to run away through the entrance. I try to stuff the grocery bag under the stroller which is one of the most difficult things imaginable.

10-11.15 AM We go to the city organized play park near us to meet other kids and parents. If it’s good weather we play first outside, if not, I try to convince DS to get inside of me which he usually protests. Like today when he wanted to play in the pouring rain with no one else around. DS is a little attention thief and get’s all the personnel to play with him. DD usually sleeps in the stroller at least for 30 minutes while we are there, some times even the whole time. DS has a banana for snack, some times DD has some formula. If we go inside the whole battle with clothes is repeated when we leave for home. The play park is great. I get to meet other mom’s (and have even made friends with some) and DS gets to play with other kids. And it costs nothing.

11.30-12 AM I carry kids and shopping bags plus our diaper bag home. DS protests and want’s to play in the staircase and ring neighbor’s doorbell. I put DS’s food in the microwave, undress both kids outerwear (and myself while sweating like a pig), try to get DS to the table to eat his food and put Sissi in the bouncer and warm her food. Usually DS won’t eat by himself so I have to feed him first and let DD wait or try to feed them both simultaneously which is a challenge.

12 PM I change DS’s diaper, we do some potty training (or not) and he goes to nap with his bunnies and pacifier. I feed DD with pureed vegetables and meat, change her diaper and play with her if she isn’t tired. I try to clean some of the mess in the kitchen.

Pureed carrots and potatoes

12.30-1.30 PM DD has some formula and goes to her nap. I sit on the computer and have some quality time with gmail, facebook and others and try to do some tasks for our web shop. I warm my lunch (last night’s delicious leftovers) in the microwave and eat it while watching some quality entertainment (like ANTM) on tv.

1.30 PM I try to crawl as quiet as possible to the bedroom so DD won’t wake up and I can have my nap aswell. Or then DS will wake up at this time (like today) and there’s no nap for mommy! Or then I’m greedy and use all the nap time for school assignments, internets or tv.

DS in his bed

Around 2-3 PM DS wakes up, I change his diaper and give him cereal with yogurt. Usually DD wakes up soon as well and I give her some pureed fruits.

3-5 PM We play inside, watch cartoons and DS might paint something. Some days we go outside but now it get’s pitch black dark at 4PM and it’s raining so that option is not very tempting. Sometimes we get a play date visitor and mommies can have a cup of coffee and gossip while the kids play.

Intense painting exercise

enjoying coffee and cinnamon buns

5 PM DS and DD have dinner, DD will go to nap no 3.

5.30 PM DH gets home from work, he will play with DS and we watch tv.

6 PM DD wakes from her nap

6.30 PM DS has his evening porridge, DD has some pureed fruit

6.45 PM DS goes to take a shower and we wash his teeth. DD might have her bath (not every evening) and we wash her teeth.

7 PM Both kids go to sleep, DD might have some formula.

7. 30 PM Me and DH have dinner, talk about the day and watch crap on tv and relax. I might do some work on the computer or read for my thesis.

10.30 PM I go to sleep.

Our days go pretty much the same route. Going out every morning is a challenge but still I prefer it to staying inside.

And last but not least, happy holidays everyone ๐Ÿ™‚


Getting settled

June 7, 2011


Curious little sister

Life with two children means a lot more chaos than before and one has to be hell of a good organizer to get through the every day tasks. Us four leaving to the play park every morning takes about 45 minutes of preparation beforehand, wonder how I’ll manage it when DH’s paternity leave ends after two weeks?

It is true that the second baby doesn’t get as much attention as the firstborn since a lot of energy and time is needed to watch after a 1,5 year old. And it is also so much easier this time to take care of a baby, since we trust our own instincts and know that the baby is doing fine. She loves eating, and breastfeeding is going well now. Today we have a weighing so we’ll see how much’s she’s grown already at the ripe age of 10 days ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m wondering what to do with this blog, since I’m not keen on sharing too much about my family life on the internet and I don’t even know if anyone is following anymore. Also I don’t have time to post too often so this has become a blog desert with a post here and there. I’m going to leave all the posts public as they are now, since many people searching for information about IF-treatments seem to come here. As for new posts, I don’t know if there will be any. If you want to know what’s happening with us, you can leave a comment with your email info (other’s won’t see your email) and I can befriend you in FB. My feed is mostly in Finnish but pictures are a universal language ๐Ÿ™‚


Room of his own

February 20, 2011

S moved to his own room about a month ago.ย  Or actually me and DH moved our bed to other room (that used to be my office) and S stayed in our old bedroom, now having all that space just for him. Having separate bedrooms is heaven. I sleep a zillion times better and so does S, as he won’t wake up at the time we go to bed. And now we can even talk or cuddle when going to sleep without waking him up! Amazing!

While we were all sleeping in the same room I slept really light and woke up every time there was even a slight noise from his bed. Now I can sleep several hours in a row without waking up. I’m so going to enjoy thisย  luxury until it lasts! S is sleeping much better now too, he some times wakes up around 10-11PM needing the pacifier but he now sleeps even until 8.30AM. I can’t describe what a difference it is to wake up so late compared to the 6AM that was his routine all the months before.

I know a lot of people whose babies/toddler sleep in the same bed with them. I tried that for the first weeks and soon realized that it’s not for us. My neck got totally jammed and I couldn’t find a comfortable position with the baby next to me and slept really badly. So we quickly moved S to his own bed. Of course when I was still breastfeeding there were times that I fell asleep next to him during the night but as soon as I woke up I put him back to his own bed. I’m pretty sure that the newcomer will sleep in her own bed from the beginning too.

This second round I’m much more confident about my abilities how to handle this baby the best possible way. Now I know that I don’t need to follow the same routines my friends do with their children or what is stated as the best way on discussion boards. I also acknowledge that what has worked with S might well not work with the newcomer. I can only wait and see what will work for us the best way this time and take not too much pressure from the outside world. I know already that I’m not the kind of mom who’s into trying out all possible baby-hobbies, obsessing about solemnly breastfeeding the suggested 6 months or never leaving their children for someone else’s care.

I can say it out loud without any shame that I do need also time for my own to keep sane and time alone with DH to keep our relationship working.When we need a babysitter my parents are usually the ones taking care of him; in total they have spent 4 nights during this first year watching after S when me and DH have had some quality time together. We are also lucky and have friends living next door, they have helped a lot watching S a couple of times for a few hours. As our families live in different cities we are a family that travels a lot; during the first year of his life S has spent a night with us at least in 8 different places and he has met a lot of new people.

S is now walking and running like he would have done it his whole life. He loves the vacuum cleaner and all things that make big noises. He’s best friends with one of our cats and goes hugging him several times a day. He has the most wonderful smile and laughter in the world. He makes my heart melt every day.

I ordered this for the newcomer. Cute overload!


7 things… and some more

March 31, 2009

Dagny tagged me so here it goes:

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Share 7 things that people may not know about you.
3. Tag 7 people to share 7 things and link to them.
4. Let them know they have been tagged.

1) When traveling abroad, people always guess I’m Russian/Slavic because of how I look. To my knowledge, there’s no Russian blood in my family but who knows if I’d be related to the czars for that matter since my grandma was adopted and my other grandfather’s father remains a mystery!

2) I have four tattoos: an eye on my neck, a scarb next to my left thumb and two tribals on my back I have drawn myself

3) I used to drive sidecar motocross with my father when I was a teen.

4) I’m superstitious and believe in horoscopes and tarot cards.

5) I have orange belt in karate ๐Ÿ˜€

6) I usually get along better with guys than girls

7) I play lottery almost every week

Since many of my blog-world friends have been tagged already, I’m not going to tag anyone particularly but you’re welcomed to do this too if you are reading ๐Ÿ™‚

And to now to my (boring) life… Let’s see, nothing much than work happening here. The spring sun is incredibly bright and temptating but I have to sit inside the whole day. boo…

TTC-wise this cycle was a break for us (ok, I confess poasing on an OPK once because DH asked and what do you know, it was positive right that moment) and I’m expecting AF today or tomorrow. Endo-wise this has been a really easy cycle; I had my first cramps since O on Sunday so that meant a WEEK without cramping. WOHOO! Back pain was there of course already from the O.

We are still waiting for the blood test results, I’m going to call on Friday but I guess it’ll be too early. I asked my RE about the fact that there are infertile women in my family and whether you can inherit infertility. She said that there is a possibility that infertility transmits in the chromosome level and we can discuss this issue next time we see her. I know already what the chromosome shit means; more blood tests and probably PGD with our next IVF if they find anything wrong on that side. I have no idea how much PGD even costs here, probably a zillion with our luck.

On Sunday when driving home from my uncle’s birthday party we discussed adoption again with DH. The lines for domestic adoption are 3-5 years. The good side: it doesn’t cost anything and you can adopt a 2 months old baby. International adoption costs around 11 ooo euros and the children who are adopted are usually 2-5 years old. But it would be faster. Russian adoption is a bit challenging since they only adopt internationally children with special needs and many mothers of these children have been drinking throughout the pregnancy. I don’t know would that be too much to handle since we don’t have any experience of raising any children so far.

All in all, I’m more and more convinced that if all other means fail, we want to adopt. We want to have a family with DH and if that can’t happen biologically then we’ll do it differently. I guess it was seeing the advertisement of Finnish Unicef that made me realize it; the campaign is called “be a mother for a moment” and it raises funds to all abandoned children over the world. The text naturally made me cry:” Motherhood isn’t about biology. It’s a state of mind; the willingness to take care and raise a small person”. This is so true.

My uncle’s party was great; I love seeing my aunts and uncles and cousins and partying with them. It was only when we left to the bar on downtown when the evening started to go wrong because my BIL was acting like a complete jerk towards my sister. It made me so mad. But me and sis had great time as you can see ๐Ÿ˜€



Cat pictures and random stuff

March 18, 2009

I went to kickboxing yesterday after a break of almost 2 months. Even though I tried to take it easy I was still almost fainting just after the warm-up. But it was still so much fun and I was in such a bliss afterwards. I keep forgetting how much I need to exercise and go outside, not just sit in front of my computer every day. Which I’ve been doing a LOT, but not only facebooking and surfing this time. I have an incredible amount of work to do and more keeps rolling in. It feels strange, people calling ME if I could do a project for them ๐Ÿ™‚ But I’m really happy for this development!

Last weekend with sis was great, we got a lot of jewelry business done and now there are new really cute earrings on the site, like these foxes and matryoschkas:





And some pics of our cats (3 of them) and my sister:

My sister crafting jewelry and the cats taking part

My sister crafting jewelry and the cats taking part

Little ones with grandpa

Little ones with grandpa

Kรถssi giving a hug to my sister

Kรถssi giving a hug to my sister

We visited two flea markets and some antique/glass shops.ย  We both found amazingly beautiful beach dresses from Thailand from different markets ๐Ÿ™‚ Mine is red with blue and white flowers, the on sis got was turqoise with pink and white flowers. With a petticoat it’ll be just perfect 50’s style party dress that I’m going to wear to my uncle’s birthday party in a week. All the family is gathering there and though it’ll be so much fun to see all them I’m scared of all the baby-questions. I hope mom has already informed everyone about our struggles.

Speaking of which, still have to wait at least 2 weeks for the blood test results before anything happens. They are making like 20-30 different tests for rare antibody/blood flow problems. No ttc on this cycle, I’m so sick of peeing on any sticks at the moment. And obviously a natural miracle is out of the question for us. We did have progesterone with the ivf cycle and 2 iui cycles before it so that’s not the resolution. RE talked about putting me on cortisone if there would be an issue with the antibodies.

I’m planning to go to summer school and take Russian for beginners, since I would love to travel there more and their culture interestes me a lot.ย  And because in the back of my mind I keep thinking we might adopt some day and Russia might be an alternative. I’m also eligible for a grant for a summer graphic class since I’ve already studied 2 years at the folk institute. So I guess it’s going to be a busy summer!

Next Saturday DH’s band has their first gig, he’s been so excited about it for like 2 months already ๐Ÿ™‚ I can’t wait, especially since my cousin is coming too (her boyfriend plays the bass in the same band) and we get to party together since ages.

Now I’ve spent already too much time here, got to get back to my work!


Another 2ww

November 10, 2008

It’s 3DPO, I’ll be starting the progesterone supplies this evening. So far I have the normal post ovulation sore nipples-symptom (which I’m glad is present this cycle because I think it means my hormones are working properly), I have ew cm which I don’t usually have post ovulation and then the usual mild cramps and back pains. And I have some hope!

Weekend was fun, the horror movie wasn’t that scary but more a dark drama. And quite ok, although I hate when a movie depicts old times (here 16th century) and the characters talk like these days… Brazilian restaurant was nice too, although the food wasn’t as good as the first time we visited it. Later we went to have drinks with a friend and his girlfriend who just happened to walk by the restaurant we were eating in. That never happens to us in Helsinki.

On Saturday morning we drove 2 hours to granny’s house, visited granny in the nursing home and did a few hours gardening work. My granny’s place has a huge garden but since no one lives there any more it’s becoming a jungle.ย  DH, my father and BIL built a fire of all the branches we’d cut down and made us a pit-roasted dinner under the fire. We stayed inside with mom and sis as it was raining and sooo cold. Went to sauna, had some red wine and talked.

Mom asked me directly where we are standing now with the ttc project and I told her we are doing IUI and if it’s not working we’ll proceed to IVF. It wasn’t so bad telling her after all. As I’ve mentioned before, there is a history of infertile women in my family. Two or three of myย  granny’s (mother’s side) sisters had endo too and never had any babies. But I think the circumstances in the 1960’s where quite far from today’s and I’m confident modern medicine has improved a lot from those days and if IUI won’t work we’ll have better chances with IVF. And my sister wasn’t pregnant which was a huge relief to me. Yes I’m evil to think like this.

Today I’m having a day off from work, slept until 11AM and had breakfast while blogsurfing. Next I’ll switch my other computer on and start to finish our jewelry shop pages, I’m hoping we’ll launch them within a week or so.

I’m thinking about skipping kickboxing during this 2ww just in case. Because we do a lot of punching/kicking directly on the stomach so it probably isn’t a good thing regarding implantation/eps… Ok it might be overly cautious but still, I want to do everything I can to improve our chances. This morning I even skipped my usual coffee dosage!


Thank you

November 7, 2008

Dagny & Kirsten, I’m sure it’s because of your comments to my eggies that this morning the OPK was POSITIVE!!! DH is at this moment giving his sample and I’m going in for IUI at 12.30. Ok I’m a little excited, must admit, but still cautious because the last 2 rounds failed. I have hope left, but I’m scared to use all of it on this one. But I’m so happy we get to do this today :)!

This evening we’ll go watch a Finnish horror movie Sauna, it has gotten good reviews and is basicly the first real Finnish horror movie ever made so I have high expectations on this one. And later we’ll dine in a very nice Brazilian restaurant! Tomorrow morning we’ll head to my grandmother’s house where my parents and my sister and her DH will be waiting and spend the Father’s day there and visit our granny in the nursing home. I hope nothing so much that she’ll live to hear me tell her I’m pregnant. She’ll be 92 in December. I’m sure mom will want to hear how our treatments are proceeding and I just don’t feel quite comfortable about discussing the issue thoroughly with her. I know she wants to be a granny so much I feel I’m letting also her down because we are not succeeding…Every time she calls she’s fishing for information whether I’m preggo or not but not asking directly. And I think she should know better about dealing with infertiles as her twin sister and her husband never got to have any babies.

A couple of more hours and hopefully I’ll have a few million quality swimmers inside of me :)!