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Constant hangover

May 26, 2009

That’s how I feel these days. Nausea (no throwing up yet), dizziness, constant hunger and headache accompany me throughout the days but I’m not complaining, having symptoms make me feel more trusty that there is someone actually on board. I’m about 6w5days and I’m going to call our local midwife today to make my first appointment for the maternity counseling. I told my sister on the phone last weekend and to my big surprise mom hadn’t blurted the news out to her yet. Sis started to cry but I hope it was happy tears, at least it felt like it and she told me how amazing this is and that she’s really really happy.

Still I know that if this pregnancy continues normally (and I surely hope it will!) and I get to have that big belly in the end I will surely cause bad feelings for someone. Because I felt so devastated seeing  those bellies around me during this struggle and thinking that they must have gotten knocked up at their first try. And I know there are a lot of us out there who struggle to get pregnant, face the disappointments month by month, swallow our tears and bite our lip watching others build their families. I still can’t understand totally that I’m pregnant after all the desperation I felt this spring. And I’m still really scared that something bad can happen.

Tomorrow is the entrance exam for the Master’s programme I applied to. I have no idea how the test is going to be like so I can’t really stress about it in advance. Also tomorrow evening I’m picking up our good friend H from the airport, she is coming back to Finland after spending over a year around Africa, can’t wait to see her!

Summer is here, everything is green and it’s +20C! I hope this summer we’ll have LOTS of sunshine and only a few gray, rainy days. But knowing the capriciousness of Finnish summer, we’ll surely get bucketloads of water.

They are fixing the plumbing of our building for a few days and we have to go to bathroom outside, like the bathrooms you have in rockfestivals. AWESOME. And can’t use water either.

Btw non-alcoholic red wine tastes like shit. Don’t bother. Non alcoholic cider on the other hand was good, almost like the real stuff.

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One comment

  1. I have everything crossed for you that this little one sticks for you. Don’t feel bad for the others who’ll see your belly as it grows! You worked hard for this little one, and can certainly understand the jealousy others may have for you.

    I’m so glad you saw that little tiny heartbeat! Before you know it you’ll be seeing a little tiny person in there. It’s so amazing. I’m so, so happy for you.



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