Archive for March 7th, 2009


Can dreams come true?

March 7, 2009

Last night I dreamed about giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was very peaceful and quiet in my arms and looked me into eyes with such wisdom in her gaze.  I felt the deepest sense of connection. In the dream I realized that it was just a dream and I would wake up without a baby, yet I felt calm and so sure that I will meet this baby again. I know this sounds like  really wacked-up New Age shit but I kind of felt it could have been my future baby coming to assure me that she will be here some day.

Failing in IVF#1 has put the smaller things in perspective. One of my worst nightmares became true and yet life keeps on going. Failing in smaller things doesn’t seem so scary anymore when I managed to  pull myself through this sea of disappointment alive.  Like yesterday I had a meeting with a new client and had to present her with my price offer and ideas for graphic works. Earlier I would have been freaked out with a situation  like this. I’m very shy around new people and all this freelancer-work is a totally new universe for me. But I wasn’t scared at all. I felt relaxed and fine. Because it wasn’t such a big deal after all. And she didn’t argue with the prices at all, liked my ideas and everything went smoothly.

We are starting a new hobby. It’s called geocaching. The point is to find caches people have hidden with your gps-device. There are caches everywhere; all around the world, in forests, in the middle of city centers. I love orienteering so this is just perfect for me! We already tried it out last weekend but weren’t so succesful, there’s too much snow on the ground at the moment and most of the caches are hidden under it. But this is definetely what I’ll occupy myself with during the next 2ww!