March 3, 2009

I got some therapy in the form of shopping.. Lame I know but it made me feel a little better; bought two nice dresses for the summer with a really big discount; originally 90 euros in total; now together 20 euros. And some sexy panties too 😉 In the weekend we are going to meet some friends in Pori and the plan is to GET WASTED AS HELL. Because I had no drinks in January and hardly any in February either and now after this shit happened I’ve truly deserved to put myself in a temporarily coma. I also heard some really good news; Nick Cave is coming to play in a rockfestival (at Seinäjoki, Dagny!) in June. I so have to go there!

I managed to reschedule the ivf follow-up for next week. It’s Friday the 13th. How fitting. I hope RE has some answers why this didn’t work out. Is there something really messed up in my uterus because the embie didn’t stick? Is endo to blame?  Will we ever get a baby? If both our embies would survive the thawing we are going to request to transfer them both although here they prefer SET. But I know it’s unlikely they’d both make it; we get to be happy if we can transfer even one.

My parents promised to pay for the FET(s) so I feel really lucky. It’s “only” 700 euros but at the moment a huge amount of money for us.

I’m still feeling down, but better than yesterday. You can truly see from my face that I spent the whole evening yesterday crying. I have some strange, slashing pains in my stomach which don’t resemble AF at all. I guess that too is a side effect from quitting the progesterone supplies. I am sad and disappointed; why did this have to happen to us? Why couldn’t we succeed? All the effort and money and then once again; nothing. I so wished I could have posted a proud beta number here. Will I ever get to be a mother?



  1. First, NO WAY!!!!! Why does it have to cost so much to cross the damn ocean???? You’d better go to that show!!!!!

    And man, I am so sorry it didn’t work, and I dont’ really don’t think you can say it will ‘never’ work after one cycle….however saying that…I know all too well the feelings you are having. I hope they let you put back the frosties together, and I hopehopehope you can be preggo for June and the show. 😉


    • Dagny, you bet I’m going :D! There’s also a slight chance that Faith no More would be there too… I know that you know exactly what I’m feeling now. That is the best part of this; that I can share this shit with people who really know what I’m talking about. And thanks for all the support and being there once again, to all of you!

  2. Hey there…
    I just had my first failed IVF – got the results on Monday (my 6th anniversary!!!). There are no words, its such a big bummer.
    I got wasted within hours.
    What is SET? My follow up is on the 16th and until then I’ll just continue to google and diagnose why the hell it didnt stick!!
    I can’t beleive I miss the progesterone shots…I’ll never complain about them again!!

    • JW, I’m sorry you have to go through this hell too… I know, it feels so strange now that there are no needles and meds anymore. I wish you strength and good luck for the future!

      SET=Single embryo transfer, they do mostly SETs in Scandinavia because doctors want to avoid multiples.

  3. O M G

    Do you know that Faith no More had JUST played this bar in Helsinki a few nights before I was there when I was in Finland last? hehee, that is funny. It think the Foo’s played there too eventually, I remember seeing film from a Finland show, and the venue looked VERY familiar…(I recall some girls talking about stealing my docs when I was in the bathroom…LMAO)

    I wish I was rich, I’d be on my way!!!


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