Everybody else is pregnant but me

April 29, 2008

…That is the feeling one gets often when trying to conceive for months without results. It seems that every movie star, reality-tv starlet and pop singer in the gossip section photos bask with their round bellies under designer dresses or with their newborn mini-mes on their arms. At this time like 80% of Finnish female rock artists are pregnant or have just delivered a baby. Are celebrities more fertile than ordinary people? And all those 40-something actresses getting their fist babies, are they really just lucky to get pregnant at such high age or does medicine have to do something with it? Why doesn’t anyone of those mothers utter the letters IVF aloud?

And it’s not just the people you see on the tv and read about in magazines and internet; when you are desperately trying to get pregnant it seems that every other woman crossing your way is pregnant. And you hate each one of them for being so lucky. At least I do.

Sometimes I start to wonder if it’s just a cosmic conspiracy or joke on my behalf. How is it possible, that just at the time when I’m agonizing about my up-coming laparoscopy and possibilities for parenthood afterwards, there are 4 (YES FOUR) pregnant women at my aerobics class? Before I wanted to get pregnant, there was never any pregnant ladies present. And I hate the way they rub their bellies and want to show off their pregnancy, everyone to marvel their blossoming bodies and motherhood. It really makes me sick sometimes. If I ever get pregnant I promise not to rub anyone’s nose in it.

My laparoscopy is in two weeks. I had my pre-operation appointment with the gynecologist. Actually two of them, first one being a gentle-handed woman, latter a man with obviously the thought in his head that women’s insides are made of iron and you can handle them as roughly as you please. A big ouch. I got my very sexy stockings to put on in the morning of the surgery and met the physiotherapist who showed how to get out of bed after the operation and how to breathe in a bottle to ease the shoulder pain. I haven’t really thought that I would be in a bad shape after the operation because I’ll only get 5-7 days of sick leave. Now after reading yet more horror stories in the ever wonderful internet I’ve learned that yes you can get really, really sick after it and may require even a month to recover.

My godson’s christening is 4 days after my surgery and on the same night I’m supposed to attend a wedding party. We’ll see.


One comment

  1. When I had my miscarriage, I thought the same thing… I waited so long for this baby, now he was gone, and everyone around me is pregnant… worse yet, my sister in law was pregnant with her 4th and she wasn’t happy about being pregnant… here I was crying and asking why couldn’t I have a baby, and she was crying why did this happen to her? On an intelligent level I knew she would eventually come around and she did – and I was happy for them. But I knew I needed something to help me… so I forced myself to focus on the positive, I used the bracelet my friend gave me to think good thoughts (that was a challenge, but it got easier – you can see the bracelet on http://www.ourhopeplace.com hope you find something that works for you)… Good luck with everything!

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